Today, the pre-admission office called to go through their "questionnaire" with me prior to surgery. Twenty minutes on the phone with a lovely woman who was so obviously tired of asking the same questions over and over and over.....
She started with checking my identity and going through exactly WHAT I was having done. She seemed a little confused until I told her the doc had to list EVERY possibility of what he might have to do - just in case he had to do it.
Then the million questions began....
Have I had surgery before? Do I take meds? Do I have................:::a whole laundry list of diseases and ailments:::: Am I allergic to anything? (What a laundry list I gave back to her!!!)
I did have fun with some of the questions - Will I have anyone at home to help out? (I have a husband and four children living home.....I think I can count on at least one or two to be available to help me out.....maybe) Do you have any mental illness? (I have a crazy husband, five insane kids and a zoo-full of whacked out companion critters - am I crazy?????)Is someone going to drive me home? (One of my daughters...) They have to be over 21....Are they over 21???? (Ahhhhhh - let me see....one is 22 and one is 27 - I think that's over 21......)When was your last period? (If you want to call it a period - last November.....)
Then I got my instructions for pre-surgery....Nothing to eat or drink after midnight...no contact lenses....no make-up....wear comfortable clothing....bring something to read...take your blood pressure with the tiniest sip of water in the AM (do I have to? If I take it on an empty stomach I get light headed) Yes take it - they want your blood pressure nice and low.....(Is passed out low enough???)don't bring anything valuable (well, there goes my ride - my kids are my most valuable "possessions")...
Before we finished - she looked at my tests and stuff and said - blood work, good, ekg, good - oops - we're missing one test....I said to her - whatever - and she announced that the morning on surgery they will do......
A PREGNANCY TEST!!!
I assured her that immaculate conception only happened once and even if it were to happen again - I wasn't that good that I would be the one.....She chuckled and said well, we'll still do one. I tried again - seriously - there is no way I'm pregnant. Her final word on it - well, after we do the test it will ease your mind...... ::::Note - I have already had FIVE pregnancies - even if by some slim chance I was pregnant - since my last cycle was NOVEMBER - I would be almost FIVE months pregnant already - and the way I carry I would be the size of a small house - so - NO WAY.....plus, I'm working on Menopause already - and then at "my age"::::::
So...I don't find out exactly WHEN my surgery is until tomorrow between 3 and 5 PM....I have to call them and ask....
Tomorrow - hubby is going out fishing with his buddy...I will have no car since one working child will take mine to go to work (or I could get up at 4:30 AM to take her to work.....nope - don't think so......)
I think I'll dance....
as if the whole world is watching - and loving every second of it.....Surgery is in two days.....
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