Adventure Update - and potential Additional Chapters....

Life does tend to catch up with us - and get away from us - and so it has with this. I had every intention of continuing this blog and whoops - here I am not quite two years later and have not mentioned a thing. So - to catch up..... After that MRI that I had in 2011 - the doctor felt there were no real changes in my ankle. The OCD was still there and not much had changed. He recommended a shot of cortisone - which I agreed to. He advised I might want to have crutches available for three-five days in case the ankle was painful or unstable - which I took him up on. The day after the shot, I attended a university football game to watch my daughter with the band. That day a freak October snow-storm (more like a blizzard) started just as the band was welcoming the football team to the stadium. That snow continued through the game and into the evening. Trying to crutch through the snow was a real adventure. The stadium offers trolley service for those that need it. After half-time, I went to find the trolley to take me back to the bus (to parking) only to be told because of the weather, they shut down trolley service! Finally, they put me in a wheel-chair and tried to push me through the six inches of snow/slush and ice. As you might imagine, it didn't work. So I put on my big-girl panties and crutched my way to the bus - and once at the parking facility - to my car. Actually, crutching in that mess wasn't that bad. I could securely plant my crutches into the snow/slush/ice and they would hold solid while I "stepped" to the next safe spot. Crutches are also quite useful in clearing snow/slush/ice off of car windshields! So after the cortisone shot, the ankle was no better, but my surgeon was stumped. He felt perhaps we could try a lubricating injection or plasma-rich injection. However, my insurance felt those were all "experimental" and wouldn't approve them. So - I just coped. For the next 18 months - coping was all I did with the ankle. Sometimes it seemed "perfect" - no catching, no locking, no pain. Then there were the days/weeks when that's all it had - catching/locking/PAIN. A couple of ER visits when it went out on me very badly and swelled up - but all they could do was check to make sure I didn't break it and put me in an aircast and crutches. Finally, several weeks ago, while stretching the ankle suddenly and very loudly went POP!!! Pain and swelling accompanied it. I thought of going to the ER - but passed on that decision - knowing they would only re-x-ray and pronounce nothing broken/nothing to be done but rest it. But what I did do, was contact a new orthopedist - one highly recommended by my primary - who was in my new insurance. Got an immediate appointment with him. He looked at my old scans and told his PA in the hall - "That thing is HUGE! Huge I tell you!" and then told me - "its a very big OCD". Also at problem was where it is on my talus - on the corner. So much so, that he would not do any surgery on it himself as he felt an OATS or other surgery would be pointless since it would easily fail (by breaking off the corner again). His recommendation was a referral to a specialist who had developed a technique of using a cadaver talus to fill the OCD. But first a new MRI. While waiting for my MRI appointment, I checked online about this new surgery potential. Very big surgery. Full ankle exposure - almost double the recovery time. Enough to make me pause on this... The MRI went without issue - except my ankle felt worse after it was over. When I called the office to check with my doctor about it - he called back with the MRI results. Seeing the new MRI - he was now comfortable in recommending another shot at microfracture and debridement (what I had in 2010) rather than the cadaver surgery. I see him on Monday to actually review the films with him and to talk about/schedule surgery. Seems like we are back on this merry-go-round for another ride. Oh the joy of it!

Back on the Merry-Go-Round

So. I am now 17+ months post surgery. Been able to lead a fairly normal life (at least normal for me) over this time - and so have not had the urge to write.

Perhaps before I go any further - I should recap.

*Surgery - debridement and microfracture - was in late April 2010.
*I began PT in May 2010 and continued into October when there was an issue with my insurance coverage.
*During longer walking trips, the ankle started catching and even locking.
*By March 2011, all my insurance issues were resolved.
*In April, I chaperoned the HS band trip to Disney World. While the trip itself was a joy - my ankle was not joyous.
*Once back from Florida, I called my primary care physician. After examining my ankle thoroughly, he put me back in an air cast temporarily, and on a regimen of Naproxen. Eight days into the Naproxen therapy I had to stop because it affected my blood pressure.
*On follow-up with my primary - he now thought perhaps I was suffering from tendinitis and sent me back to PT - with a follow-up half-way through the process.
*PT was uneventful. Yet the pain the my ankle continued and issues with catching and locking increased.
*Again, on follow-up with my primary - he now felt we "went at" the ankle from every angle - and there were still problem - so he decided to send me back to the surgeon.

This brings us pretty current.

Yesterday I saw my surgeon. First - a set of new x-rays, and then into an exam room so he could see me. His first words to me - "You're back?" and then after we chat about the ankle he says - "Don't tell me you tore MORE cartilage?"

He checked the x-rays and they are inconclusive. Based on my symptom-ology though, it seems I have most likely got "something" floating around in the joint. When it's floating "free" - things are good - when it gets stuck - the joint locks and I'm in pain. He also showed some concern in the area where he removed a large amount of inflammatory tissue.

So - it's off for a new MRI to better see what's up in my ankle.

And then we go from there...

:::::Why do I think its going to be another surgery and more months on crutches?::::::

Do I want to ride this merry-go-round yet again?

May have no choice.

The Countdown Begins....

Surgery is in two more days....

Today, the pre-admission office called to go through their "questionnaire" with me prior to surgery. Twenty minutes on the phone with a lovely woman who was so obviously tired of asking the same questions over and over and over.....

She started with checking my identity and going through exactly WHAT I was having done. She seemed a little confused until I told her the doc had to list EVERY possibility of what he might have to do - just in case he had to do it.

Then the million questions began....

Have I had surgery before? Do I take meds? Do I have................:::a whole laundry list of diseases and ailments:::: Am I allergic to anything? (What a laundry list I gave back to her!!!)

I did have fun with some of the questions - Will I have anyone at home to help out? (I have a husband and four children living home.....I think I can count on at least one or two to be available to help me out.....maybe) Do you have any mental illness? (I have a crazy husband, five insane kids and a zoo-full of whacked out companion critters - am I crazy?????)Is someone going to drive me home? (One of my daughters...) They have to be over 21....Are they over 21???? (Ahhhhhh - let me see....one is 22 and one is 27 - I think that's over 21......)When was your last period? (If you want to call it a period - last November.....)

Then I got my instructions for pre-surgery....Nothing to eat or drink after midnight...no contact lenses....no make-up....wear comfortable clothing....bring something to read...take your blood pressure with the tiniest sip of water in the AM (do I have to? If I take it on an empty stomach I get light headed) Yes take it - they want your blood pressure nice and low.....(Is passed out low enough???)don't bring anything valuable (well, there goes my ride - my kids are my most valuable "possessions")...

Before we finished - she looked at my tests and stuff and said - blood work, good, ekg, good - oops - we're missing one test....I said to her - whatever - and she announced that the morning on surgery they will do......

A PREGNANCY TEST!!!

I assured her that immaculate conception only happened once and even if it were to happen again - I wasn't that good that I would be the one.....She chuckled and said well, we'll still do one. I tried again - seriously - there is no way I'm pregnant. Her final word on it - well, after we do the test it will ease your mind......

::::Note - I have already had FIVE pregnancies - even if by some slim chance I was pregnant - since my last cycle was NOVEMBER - I would be almost FIVE months pregnant already - and the way I carry I would be the size of a small house - so - NO WAY.....plus, I'm working on Menopause already - and then at "my age"::::::

So...I don't find out exactly WHEN my surgery is until tomorrow between 3 and 5 PM....I have to call them and ask....

Tomorrow - hubby is going out fishing with his buddy...I will have no car since one working child will take mine to go to work (or I could get up at 4:30 AM to take her to work.....nope - don't think so......)

I think I'll dance.... as if the whole world is watching - and loving every second of it.....

Surgery is in two days.....

Of floors and pain and nerves

Its been a few days since I posted last - but I've been busy. A few months ago, we got an excellent price on laminate wood flooring and bought enough to do our front room/dining room and back hall.

Hubby got the wonderful idea that with my upcoming surgery - it would be so much better for me to have the wood floor to maneuver on as opposed to the 25+ year old carpets. So who gets to do the work of it all? ME!

I've spent the last week tearing out old carpets, sweeping up and washing the old dust, dirt and grime and then installing the new laminate floors. My knees have taken a beating, my hands are stiff - and my ankle.....well my ankle is stiff, swollen and painful.

BUT - there is a beautiful new floor!

As hubby keeps telling me - I can slide my butt off the couch and to the bathroom and not have to worry about crutches! Yeah - right......

And now that this particular "job" is done - and we are less than a week to surgery - the reality has settled in....This is going to be fixed - my ankle is going to be cared for - I'm having surgery....

Yesterday at church was nice...but - the minister knows I'm having this surgery and during the prayers for others part of the service - this fact wasn't mentioned. And it's not like other people in church who are facing surgery haven't been prayed for (or mentioned directly by the minister) - its something that has been consistently done....but not for me. After service - a friend asked - so why didn't we pray for you? A could only shrug my shoulders...She said your family could have mentioned it - but then again, so could the minister - or so could another friend who KNEW the date of the surgery.

While I fed my companion parrots after church, I cried. My church, my church family - those I look to to support me in faith, fellowship and love - didn't pray for me. Half of them don't even know I will have the surgery - so I won't even have those prayers on the day of surgery. One of my older daughters will take me because my husband can't/won't travel that distance (because of panic/anxiety disorder - same as the one daughter suffers from). I love my children - but I don't want to lean on them for support - I'm their mom - I'm supposed to be THEIR strength and support. I will have no one to hold ME up on that day....except for maybe the strangers of those in the OR with me.....

As the days count down and surgery looms ever closer - I get more nervous. I truly do want this done - but I'm scared. Scared of anesthesia, scared of all the "could happens" - just scared in general - scared for the unknown....I have a couple of close friends to talk to - but they are not near by - and I don't want to burden them with my "silliness".

So I write a blog - to no one but me - because honestly, I don't know that anyone reads this besides me. Its cathartic and maybe makes me feel a little better - just for verbalizing it.....

And so - we are three days away from getting this done. I don't know what time, I don't know exactly what will be done....I am hoping against hope and prayer, that this will all go well, that it will fix the problem and I can walk/dance and live with a pain-free ankle.

From my fingers - to God's eyes and ears.....

Doctor Visit

Well, yesterday was a busy day. I saw the surgeon again. We reviewed the MRI mostly.

The lesion/defect is at the back of the talus bone (the main ankle bone) It really is not visible from the front or even much of either side - only when you come around the back. This was actually no surprise to me since this is where the majority of my pain is!

The doc's concern is that if he attempts to do the surgery arthroscopically, he may not be able to see - let alone fix the problem because the camera need to go it from the front. He said he WILL try arthroscopically first - but he may have to do open surgery through the back instead.

If he has to do open surgery - he said there is a lot of "junk" back there that makes many people "scared" to go there - arteries, nerves, tendons, etc....I didn't get to ask him if HE was scared to go there...but I will....The open surgery will also carry additional work - actually breaking bone and that in itself can cause more issues all around.

I had questions all ready to ask him, but he left in a hurry and the nurse told me I was coming back for ANOTHER visit pre-surgery for all questions, discussion, etc. Not particularly happy about that - but I'll deal....

I was hoping to have surgery as soon as possible after 4/17 (like the 19th) but my return visit will be the 19th. The first date the nurse gave me for surgery was 5/12 and I told her that was going to wreak havoc with my schedule since I'm trying to schedule this between cheer and band/guard seasons - and its a four month recovery process. She left the room and came back a while later and said the best she could do was 4/29. If that's the best - I'll have to deal with it...it may mean I'm still not 100% for band camp.....

But - for what it's worth - we're booked for surgery. At the hospital local to the doc, not their surgi-center on site. This hospital is not local for me - so just another thing I have to deal with...

Everytime it hurts now - I look at that ankle and tell it - your time is coming - you will be all better very soon!!!!!

I hope.